


The Unpredictable Mess that is Tony Stark

by tonystarkssnipples



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Family, Funny, M/M, Rehab, Stony - Freeform, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:28:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkssnipples/pseuds/tonystarkssnipples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I couldn’t admit I was wrong in front of everyone else.”<br/>“But me?”<br/>“Yeah. I can be wrong in front of you.”<br/>--<br/>Tony may not be a playboy any more, but he still has a drinking problem. Tony and Steve got married a few months before, and Tony wants adopt a kid. Steve is hesitant, coming up with excuses about the unpredictability of being a superhero, but his only real reservation is Tony's drinking. To everyone's surprise, Tony is willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

Tony knew that tonight was the night. He and Steve had been together for two years. They had gotten married a few months before. Tony had debated getting the ring for three months, and then had taken him four more months after getting the ring to actually ask Steve to marry him. He knew Steve loved him, but even though they were married, he was always afraid that he was going to do something to push him away. He always felt he was going too fast.

“Steve?” he asked, taking his reading glasses off. He had been looking over them, staring at his husband trying to gather his courage to speak, but he was trying to give the illusion that he had, in fact, been reading.

“Finally,” Steve signed, closing his book.

“What?”

“Tony, please. Are you going to tell me that you thought I didn’t notice you staring at me? I take offense to that. I thought you knew me better.”

Tony grumbled and leaned back. “Well, I’ve been trying to figure out how to phrase what I’m about to ask.”

“Well, I’m all ears.”

“Okay. I practiced this, so let me get into character for a minute.”

“Character?”

“No, not character. What I’m about to say is a hundred percent Tony. All me. But... oh you know what I mean.”

Steve smiled. Of course he knew what Tony meant. He just liked to get him riled up. He found it extremely adorable. There was something so fundamentally Tony about it.

“I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I can’t exactly say it was love at first sight, but I’m pretty sure that was mutual. Took us a little while to get some footing. But we did and we realized that we didn’t just like each other, that we _really_ liked each other. And then after a few months of _really_ liking each other we realized we _loved_ each other. So now here we are, stuck... no, not stuck... _bound_ to each other for the rest of our lives and I have never been happier. You changed me in all the good ways. Mostly, you changed what I wanted for my life. While I still want to be Iron Man and save people and everything that I do, I also want to be more than that. I want to be more than that with you. I want...” Tony stopped mid speech.

“Are you proposing to me again, or something. Because this sounds vaguely familiar.”

“Shut up! This is hard!”

“Oh, okay.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“I wanna have a kid!” Tony shouted. “I want to adopt a kid. I want you and me to be daddies and raise a little kid and be over protective and all the kids to be jealous of him because his parents are superheroes and everyone knows who they are, but he’ll also be really down to earth about it and won’t brag because we’ve raised him right.”

Steve did nothing but blink. His plan to irritate Tony to the point of spitting out what he wanted to say had worked, but now he didn’t know if he had wanted it to. This was something... huge. This wasn’t asking him if he wanted to re-do the bedroom (Steve didn’t care) or if their new vacation home should be in Tuscany or Rome (Steve said they already had three, they didn’t need any more). This was the rest of their lives.

“Please say something. Oh Christ, you don’t want to. I take it back. I don’t want a kid. You’re right. Oh God, that was weird. I don’t even know if that was me talking. What the hell? Were we even having a conversation? I’m going to take a shower.” Tony rambled in a strange stream of conscious, then stood and made his way to the bathroom. 

Steve waited a few moments before getting up to follow Tony. The water was already running in the shower. He was surprised that Tony actually went into the bathroom. He thought that was just a cover to get out of the room. He knocked on the door and Tony pretended not to hear. Steve experimentally turned the knob to find that it wasn’t locked, which meant that Tony wanted him to come in.

He opened the door. The room had already filled up with steam. Tony hated putting the vents on, saying that he loved the way the room became cloudy and mysterious. Steve didn’t bother trying to figure that one out.

Steve leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. “It’s not that I don’t want a kid,” he said. When Tony didn’t reply, he continued on. “It’s just that I don’t know if... we’re _ready_. We only just got married. And our line of work isn’t exactly... predictable. What happens if we have to jet off to the other side of the world with no notice? What if we’re gone for weeks at a time?” Again, Tony didn’t answer. Steve couldn’t tell if the other man was ignoring him, or just didn’t feel like adding to the conversation. Steve decided he didn’t care, so he kept talking. “I would love to someday have a kid with you. Having a family... it’s always been a dream of mine. But at this point in our lives, I just don’t know if that’s a good idea.” _There’s something else_ , Steve thought, _but I can’t face it yet._

Finally, Tony spoke. “I get it, Steve. You don’t want to have a family with me. You don’t have to make excuses. Please can we just drop it?”

“I don’t want to drop it. I want to do this with you, but just not right now.”

Tony returned to his silence. Steve pushed off from the counter and started to leave. He was already out the door and closing it behind him when he heard a faint, “Don’t go.”

“Tony, I’m really not in the mood right now,” he said, re-entering the room.

“What? No. Not like that. I just want you to stay here. Talk to me.”

“What’s wrong with you tonight?”

“Nothing,” Tony said. Steve could almost always tell when Tony was lying, and it didn’t seem like he was. “I just love you very much and I don’t want you to leave angry. We’ve only been married a couple weeks. I don’t want that to start already. Or ever.”

There was a small smile on Steve’s face. He wished he could see Tony but the steam on the glass in the shower completely hid him. Almost as if reading his mind, Tony wiped his hand over a small patch of the glass to show his face through the steam. Steve laughed out loud when Tony pressed his face up to the glass and said something like “kiss me” but since his face was contorted from the glass it sounded more like “iss ee”. Steve stood and walked over to him. He pressed his lips against the glass. When he pulled back, Tony was glaring at him.

Steve left the room, only looking back at Tony once to give him a little wave.

“Teasing bitch,” Tony shouted after him. From in their room he heard Steve shout, “Love you too!”

Tony smiled. He loved Steve so much. He was going to prove that he was ready to be a dad.

—

“Welcome home, honey,” Tony greeted, putting down his ladle and walking up to Steve to kiss him on the cheek.

Ever since Tony had brought up that he wanted to adopt, he had become very house-wifey. He was horrible at cleaning, and almost always ended up making a bigger mess, but he ended up being an amazing cook. When Steve asked about it, Tony said “I used to not be able to cook fucking eggs. But then I realized that cooking was just like inventing, except with a different set of tools.” Needless to say, it was now hard to get Tony out of the kitchen.

“What are you making?” Steve asked, looking into the pot.

“No no no. You know the rules. Now get. It’ll be ready soon enough.”

Steve was about to get up when he realized the bottle next to Tony. “Wine?”

“Adds flavor,” Tony murmured. He picked it up, poured a drop into the pot, then took a long hit of it before putting it back on the table.

Something about that simple movement set him on edge. “Tony?”

“Mmm?” Tony answered, clearly distracted.

“Can you come over here and give me a kiss?” Steve asked. Tony finally looked up.

“Uh... sure?” Tony walked out from behind the stove. It hadn’t hit Steve that he was wearing an apron that had the Captain America suit printed on the front. Steve almost blushed, thinking that something like that had been made, but his mind was elsewhere.

When Tony got to him, he quickly pressed their lips together, before attempting to leave and return to his cooking. That one second was not enough for Steve to get the information he needed. He grabbed Tony’s arm and pulled him back, crashing their lips together. He forcefully kissed his husband. Tony wasn’t complaining. He just opened his mouth, which was exactly what Steve wanted. After a few seconds, he found out what he already knew. That had not been the first sip of wine for Tony that night, nor was it the first drink with alcohol.

Steve pulled away. “You’ve been drinking.”

“What?” Tony asked.

“You’ve been drinking. I can taste it in your mouth. I can smell it on your breath.”

“It’s not like it’s something new,” Tony snapped. He quickly put two and two together. “You didn’t want to kiss me. You used my love for you against me?”

“I’m not doing it to go against you, Tony. If you’re serious about adopting a kid, you can’t be drinking in the middle of the day anymore.”

“I’ll have you know that I have been drunk for a good portion of my life.”

“And look at all of the stupid shit you’ve done! That’s not exactly a compelling argument. It’s going to hard enough for us to even try at this what with the superhero business. We don’t need to add onto it that one of the kid’s parents is an alcoholic! I put up with it because I love you, but I don’t want to. I don’t like you waking up at two in the afternoon, hungover, stumbling around the tower in sunglasses. I don’t like you falling asleep in the middle of conversations. I don’t like cleaning up your puke. I don’t like it, Tony. And I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like it either. What if you had to put up with some alcoholic around the house all the time, taking advantage of you?” Steve was shouting. He always meant to talk to Tony about his drinking, but this was not the intervention he had in mind. This was heat of the moment and hurtful. 

“I did, you moron! My father was a nasty drunk. Say what you will about him, but he was _not_ the man you knew. Or maybe he was but you just have that little habit of only focusing on the good in people. My dad was drunk constantly. Hell, he’s the one who used to take me into his lap and in tell me to drink some of his scotch. _It’ll make me you a man_ he’d say. I was five fucking years old! And guess what? I turned out just fucking fine, no? I’ve changed the world! I’ve saved it! I’ve got six crazy friends who would go to the ends of the earth to save me, for whatever reason. I have an amazing husband who I love with all of my heart. I think I’m doing fine.”

“Your dad had all of that, too. Do you want to be like that? Do you want to be the parent that takes his kid into his lap and hands him a drink? Because that’s kind of the argument you’re making here.”

“No you fucking dipshit, what I’m saying is that I wouldn’t do that because I didn’t like it when it happened to me.”

“You just said that you were fine in spite of what happened! You’re contradicting yourself! I’m trying to help you here.”

“Help me?”

“Yes, help you. You’re the fucking dipshit to not realize that you. Have. A. Problem.”

“Piss off,” Tony snapped.

“Yeah, well. There are more furnished suites in this tower than there are tenants, so until you’re ready to apologize, I’ll be moving my stuff into one of them.”

Steve had already left the room, but Tony continued shouting after him. “You’re the one that started this! You’re the one that tricked me and confronted me about something that isn’t even a problem! No matter what you say, _you_ are the fucking dipshit. When you’re done being a baby, I’ll be waiting in _our_ room for the apology _you_ owe _me_.”

When Tony finally realized that he was screaming at dead air, he stormed over to the stove, turned off the burner, and dumped the pasta sauce he had been making down the garbage disposal. He proceeded to attempt to smash the metal pot. When that didn’t work, he groaned, grabbed the bottle of wine by the neck, and let it pour down his throat until it was empty.

—  
Steve was still awake at 4:30 when Tony stumbled into their room. He had been replaying the fight on his head on repeat ever since it happened. He had said horrible things to Tony. Horrible, cruel things. He meant them, but not in the way they had come out.

“I thought you were gonna move into one of the other suites,” Tony slurred. “Just couldn’t stay away from me?” He smelled like puke and booze and Steve didn’t even try to mask the look of disgust on his face. But then Tony threw up on the floor and Steve forgot his anger.

“If I had, who would be here to clean up this mess?” he asked. There was a smile on his face, but it was dry. There wasn’t happiness behind it. Tony couldn’t tell the difference and he smiled up at him.

“You’re such a good husband. You’re a better husband than me. I’m a bad husband. You’re a good one.”

“That’s me. Steve Rogers. Good husband. Let’s get you to bed.”

It was clear that Steve wasn’t going to get Tony into pajamas, but he figured he could at least take off his dirty clothes. Since Tony had collapsed halfway to the bed, Steve had to pick him up, now wearing nothing but his boxers, and put him on the bed.

“Mm, Steve. Are you trying to get into my pants? You don’t have to be subtle. We’re married. And we’ve been fucking for years. I think. Right?" Tony looked horribly confused.

“Yes, Tony. But not tonight. You need to go to sleep.”

“ _You_ need to go to sleep.”

“We both need to go to sleep,” Steve said, climbing into bed with Tony. He put his arm around him and pulled him close. “So goodnight.”

“Steve?” Tony mumbled after a few minutes. Steve had finally started to drift off into sleep, but opened his eyes immediately at Tony’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Even though he was drunk, there was a sincerity in his eyes. Tony had said it a million times before, but that didn’t mean that it was any less special. “I’m sorry I failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me,” Steve whispered. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t like anyone could hear them. The rest of their team were all in their own suites on their own floors. But something about this moment was private.

“Do you still love me?” he seemed genuinely worried and it broke Steve’s heart.

“I will always love you, Tony.”

Steve could tell that Tony wasn’t entirely sure, but by the way the other man snuggled into him and rested his head in the crook of Steve’s neck, he figured they would figure it all out on the morning.

—

Steve had experienced a hungover Tony before. Of course he had, it came with the territory. But this was the first angry hangover he had to handle. Steve, who was pretty much prepared for anything, wasn’t prepared for this.

“I’m still mad at you!” To Tony, it sounded like a scream, but it came out as barely a whisper. 

“Do you remember why?” Steve asked.

“You don’t have to scream.” Tony groaned.

“I’m not screaming. I’m talking at the decibel that normal people talk at.” Steve didn’t lower his voice. Everyone thought he was a pushover but he wasn’t. He had grown a tolerance for most of Tony’s bullshit. “Do you remember what we were fighting about.”

“You don’t want to be a daddy.”

“No, that’s not it.”

“No?”

“Think harder.”

“I feel like we said dipshit a lot.”

“You’re getting warmer.”

“Just let me die.”

“Nope. I’d miss you too much.” Steve poked Tony on the nose. Tony’s reflexes weren’t exactly what they normally were and he was a solid two seconds too late as he tried to swat Steve’s hand away.

“You suck.”

“Yup.”

“Can I please just take a nap? We can get back to fighting later.”

“Tony. We don’t need to fight. We can talk about it normally.”

“Can we talk about it normally when I’m sober? Please?”

Steve liked to tease Tony, but he knew there were limits. Tony was begging, and not in the ‘puppy dog I can get you to do whatever I want’ way but the ‘I really feel like shit, please let me get better’ kind of way. “Have a nice nap.” Steve kissed his forehead.

“You’re gonna leave me?”

Ah. There was the puppy dog I can get whatever I want beg. Steve slapped mentally slapped himself as he crawled back into bed. “Never.”

—

Tony stomped into the kitchen, shouting back at Steve. “You’re a dick.” It was a few hours later. While he still had a bit of a headache, he was more or less fine. Nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Ooh!” Clint sat up straight, a giddy look on his face. “They’re fighting. Guys! Get in here! They’re fighting!”

“We’re not fighting,” Steve explained calmly, finally entering the room.

“Damn straight we’re fighting. And we’re fighting because you’re a dick.”

“What happened?” Natasha whispered to Clint. She had just entered the room.

“No clue. They just came in like this.”

“What did we miss?” Thor exclaimed, too loudly.

“NOTHING!” Steve and Tony both shouted.

“Tony, please calm down.” Steve, always rational Steve. It made Tony sick. He reached the refrigerator and took out a carton of eggs.

“You are a dick.” Each word was joined by an egg. Steve didn’t bother to duck. He wouldn’t give Tony the satisfaction of knowing that it bothered him. He didn’t even wipe the egg off of his shirt. “You don’t know me.” He threw an egg. “You don’t understand me.” He threw an egg. “You _clearly_ don’t love me.” Another egg. “You’re a selfish mother fucker.” Selfish, mother, and fucker all got their own eggs.

“He’s out of eggs,” Clint whispered to Natasha.

“Do either of you know what angered Anthony?” Thor whispered. He was capable, he just wasn’t the best of deducing what the proper time for it was. He figured since Clint and Natasha were whispering he should, too.

“No clue. I hadn’t seen them all day and then this,” Natasha answered. “Clint said he didn’t know anything either.

Tony was throwing apples now. “You knew what you were getting into when you married me.” Apple. “You want to change me.” Apple. “It ain’t happenin’, bub.” Apple. “And will you three shut the fuck up?” An apple flew at them. Natasha caught it effortlessly and handed it to Clint, who bit into it shamelessly.

“Thanks,” Clint said with his mouth full. Tony rolled his eyes.

“Let’s ask them, Steve. See what they think!” Tony shouted. There was nothing in his immediate reach, so there was nothing to throw. 

“Let’s not get them involved.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“It’s not their business.”

“If they’re gonna sit there and be a obvious fucking audience they might as well be of some use.”

“Fine, you’ll explain it to them.”

“No, really. It’s fine,” Clint said, starting to stand up.

“We will be leaving you now,” Thor explained.

“Sit. Down.” Steve demanded. “You’re already invested now.”

“Shit,” Natasha whispered.

“Go ahead, Tony. Explain.”

“The Avengers have been needed less and less, and I figured that maybe it was time to start a Family with Steve.” There were smiles all around, and congratulations.

“Well what’s the problem then? Steve doesn’t want to be a dad?” Clint asked.

“No, I do. But _I_ said that Tony needs to work on his drinking before we take on the responsibility of another life.” Silence. By the look on their faces, it was evident that they all agreed with Steve. It hadn’t crossed their minds at first, but now it was the only thing that they could think. “Tell them how you responded to that?”

Tony shot him a glare, which Steve met with equal fire. Tony backed down first. “I got wasted and threw up on Steve.” It might have been the trick of the light, but the others in the room swore they could see Tony blushing. Tony Stark was embarrassed. They really had seen everything.

“In his defense, he didn’t throw up _on_ me.” Tony threw the fruit bowl at Steve’s head. “Ow! I was trying to help your case here!”

“I can defend myself! You make me seem incompetent!”

“You fell over halfway to the bed!”

“I would have made it if you didn’t fucking pick me up like a two year old!”

“Fuck you! I _am_ gonna sleep somewhere else tonight!”

“Whoop-de-fucking-do. I’ll find you so you can help me with my incompetence.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t throw wooden spoons at me, Stark.”

“Last time I checked, Stark was your last name, too.”

That shut everyone up. Steve stopped walking toward Tony and Tony stopped backing up. The three spectators looked back and forth between the two, waiting for one of them to talk. When it became evident that neither was going to, Natasha took the rational route.

“Steve, go remove the egg and apple bits from yourself. Tony, you’re going to clean up the kitchen. Clint and I will be watching. When you’re done, we’re all going to meet in the conference room. _All_ of us. I’m calling Coulson and Fury as soon as you get to work.” Neither man made a move. “NOW!” She shouted. Steve spun on his heel and jogged to the shower, afraid for his life. Clint followed him, grumbling about how Tony was more fun to babysit because he actually got to _do_ something.

For whatever reason, Tony wasn’t afraid of Natasha. He walked over and picked one of the apples that hadn’t burst when it hit Steve off the floor. He shined it on his shirt and took a bite of it. Natasha returned to see him sitting on the counter, brewing coffee, contently eating his apple.

“I told you to clean up this mess.”

“My tower. I can do what I want.”

“I live here, so I can do what _I_ want.” She ripped the coffee maker from the socket and smashed it onto the ground. Too add insult to injury, she pulled out a gun from God-knows-where and shot it twice. Tony stared in horror at his beloved coffee maker. “Now, what were you saying? _Yes Natasha, I’d be glad to clean up the mess I made_. Good to hear.” She plucked the apple out of his hands and ate it, walking out.

“How are you gonna police me if you’re not even in the room?”

“C’mon Stark, you know me well enough to know that I don’t have to be present to know what’s going on.”

—

“So what’s the problem, exactly?” Fury asked. He was furious for having to stop what he was doing to come down and police two grown men, but it was his job. Coulson was standing beside him.

“Well, see To-” Clint started.

“No. From them,” Fury demanded, pointing to the husbands. They were sitting on opposite sides of the table. Clint sat next to Steve, Natasha with Tony. Thor was standing at the head of the table. Bruce had been excused from the meeting; he didn’t like being around fighting if he could help it. Clint and Natasha weren’t taking sides, they were just there in case things go ugly.

“Director Fury, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. The last time they tried to explain it—”

“We’re not children,” Tony spat. “We are capable of fighting our own battles.”

“Clearly you aren’t.” Fury looked at them. “Or I wouldn’t be here. Stark, you go first.”

“Which Stark?” Tony asked, winking. Even though he was angry with Steve, they were always on the same team. But Steve didn’t wink back. Didn’t even acknowledge that Tony had made the joke. “Me Stark.”

“Yes, you Stark.”

“Okay,” Tony said, sighing exaggeratedly. “I want to adopt a kid. I’ve been down to the agency and found this great kid who’s four. His parents died and he lived with his aunt and uncle for a while, but they couldn’t take care of him any more so they put him up for adoption. His name’s Peter. I’ve visited him a few times, and I think we’ve really hit it off, but—”

“You never told me that last part.” Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Because you always interrupted me and told me that—” Natasha grabbed Tony’s arm and pulled it back in a way that was incredibly painful, but wouldn’t leave any lasting damage. He stopped shouting.

“If I may, Director, I’d like to tell my side of the story.”

“Go ahead.” There was an eye roll in the tone of Fury’s voice.

“ _I_ said that I would like to look into the idea, but that Tony needs to stop drinking before we adopt a kid. At least he has to cut back... a lot. He responded by getting shit-faced and—”

“Yeah yeah, we know the rest. He may or may not have thrown up on you and then you carried him to bed and then he woke up angry at you and then started throwing food,” Clint finished for them. The last thing they needed was the two shouting about incompetence again.

“Is drink not allowed in the presence of children?” Thor asked.

“Technically it is, but it’s frowned upon, and given the amount of alcohol Tony ingests on the average day-” Coulson started.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course Coulson is taking Steve’s side. You’re in love with him, but tough fucking shit. He’s mine. Get over it.”

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve spat. “I’m very sorry Coulson. He’s obviously just upset.”

“You don’t have to fight my battles for me.”

“You’re angry at _me_ Tony, don’t take it out on our friends.” Coulson looked like he was going to jump for joy at being called Captain America’s friend and Fury just looked annoyed, but thankfully he didn’t say anything.

“Of course you would say that since they’re all taking _your_ side.”

“I would still say the same thing if they were on yours, Tony.”

“Well we’ll never know because you’re _always_ right. As always Nick, Coulson, it’s been a fucking pleasure. But if you’ll excuse me, I have to go drink myself to death.” He pointed at Steve. “And feel free to shove a cactus up your ass, Rogers.”

He stormed out. Steve couldn’t breathe. Tony had just called him Rogers. When they got married, Steve made a point at taking Tony’s name because he knew how much it meant to him. It meant something to Steve, too. It meant that he was Tony’s forever.

“I’ll go get him.” Natasha started to get up.

“No,” Steve said, putting his hand up to stop her. “I’ll go.”

“Steve, I respect your judgment on the battlefield but right now you’re overemotional. This is a _really_ bad idea.” Clint knew his protests were in vain. Once Steve made a decision, he stuck to it.

“Normal couples figure out their problems on their own. Tony and I can, too.”

Steve left, ignoring his teams’ and superiors’ protests. Steve didn’t have to try too hard to find Tony. He was sitting on the edge of their bed. His elbows were on his knees with his head in his hands as he stared at the ground.

“Hi,” Tony greeted. He hadn’t even looked up.

“Hey,” Steve said. He walked and sat next to Tony on the bed. He encased the man in a hug. Tony didn’t try to pull away. He just shoved his head into Steve’s chest.

“I’m sorry I’m a fuck up.”

“You’re not a fuck up, Tony. You’re an amazing, wonderful, human being and the best husband anyone could ask for, ever.” Steve took Tony’s face in his hands and raised it so they were looking into each others’ eyes. “And I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you, too,” Tony mumbled. He dropped his head to Steve’s chest and Steve absentmindedly ran his fingers through his husband’s hair. “I really want this for us, Steve. I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

“Really?” Steve asked, leaning back so he could look at Tony.

“Yup.”

“When did you change your mind?”

“When I called you Rogers. I hated it. It felt so wrong, and I was mad at you for pushing me to call you that, but then I realized that I was the one who pushed myself that far. I realized that you only wanted to help me. And all of that went through my head in two seconds, which is why I stormed out. Because... I couldn’t admit I was wrong in front of everyone else.”

“But me?”

“Yeah. I can be wrong in front of you.”


	2. During

They decided it would be easier on everyone if Tony didn’t quit cold turkey. That rarely worked, anyway. But they also decided that Tony should go to rehab. He went kicking and screaming, but he also admitted that he knew it was for the best, and eventually just accepted that it was something he had to do with his life.

Steve was the only one who went to drop him off. It was a twenty day program. That seemed fine until—

“No computers, cell phones, or other wireless communication devices?!” Tony screamed when he saw the sign. “No technology. For twenty days. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF?” He turned to Steve and pointed a finger at him. “You. Take me home.” Tony began to stomp out, as if trying to prove some point, but Steve just put his hand on his chest and stopped him. “Goddamn you and your super strength.”

Eventually he got Tony checked in, even though he tried to escape three more times. He always came back. The receptionist probably thought it was because Steve kept grabbing him, but Steve knew better. Tony wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be. He was just being stubborn, as usual.

“Okay Steve, you have to leave now,” the nurse said.

“Come visit me. Every day. Or every other day, if every day is too much.”

“They di—” Steve held his hand up to silence the nurse.

“Listen Tony... you’re not allowed to have visitors while you’re here.”

“Oh _fuck_ no. I’m not going the better half of a month without seeing my husband.”

“Please. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“It’s an amish existence!” he shouted.

“I know, I know. But remember, we’re not just doing it for us.” They hadn’t decided to tell the public what they were planning to do, or why Tony Stark was finally going to rehab. Steve knew not to say too much, because there could always be someone listening.

“Yeah. I know,” Tony grumbled.

“I bought you a present.” Steve pulled out a simple notebook. “For whatever comes to mind.”

“Thanks.” Tony grabbed the notebook and kissed Steve goodbye. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

—

**Day One**

_I’m bored. I miss Steve._

—

**Day Two**

_I bit one of the nurses so I would have something to do. I’m going crazy bored. Steve would reprimand me. I miss him._

—

**Day Three**

_The repercussions of The Biting have resulted in the possibility of psychiatric examination. They say if I try anything again, they will sedate me and be happy to watch me drool on myself. Sounds like something Coulson would say. Isn’t that something Coulson said once? Either way, I think these people have a vendetta against me. Steve would either punch them in the face or pat them on the back. Not sure which. I wish he were here so I could figure it out. I miss him._

—

**Day Seven**

_They followed through on their promise of sedation. I bit another nurse and I can’t remember the past three days. I don’t know why I bit her. Again, I think it was just something to do. Maybe I was trying to get kicked out? I don’t even know. Hey? Isn’t sedating someone kind of like getting them drunk? Are they even helping me here? I wonder if they’re going to call Steve and tell him I’m fucking up. I sure hope not. I’ll try to be better so that doesn’t happen. I don’t want Steve to get mad at me._

—

“He did _what_?” Steve screamed into the telephone. “Okay, ma’am. I’m very sorry. Can he stay or does he have to come home? _An addition twenty days_? Because you had to sedate him he has to start the program over? Have you told him yet? Okay. Thank you.”

“What happened?” Natasha asked. Steve jumped at her voice. He hadn’t realized she was there.

“Apparently Tony has been biting nurses. They have to start the twenty day program over again because he was heavily sedated which, apparently, has the same effects on the body as alcohol. He was unconscious for three days.”

Clint slapped him on the back. Where were they coming from? “You sure no how to pick ‘em, Cap.”

“Since he’s the only one I’ve ever _picked_ , I guess I do.”

“You’re so _Steve_.”

“Thank you?”

“It’s a compliment,” Natasha explained for her partner.

“Then thank you. But I’ve really got to get going. I was halfway out the door when the phone rang. There’s some place I have to be.”

Steve took the car Tony bought for them on their two year anniversary. He didn’t drive it much, simply because he liked his bike more. But he figured, where he was going, it was best if he didn’t show up on a motorcycle. 

“Hi, yes. I made an appointment under Steve Stark?” he told the receptionist.

“Ah, yes. You’re here to see Peter?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Right over here.”

The kid sitting on the floor was small for his age. He had dark brown hair that stood up a bit in the front. He was playing with plastic spiders. Steve sat on the floor next to him. “Hi Peter,” he said. Peter looked up at him bashfully. “I’m Steve. I believe you know my friend Tony?” Peter brightened at the name, but was still too shy to say anything. “I see you like spiders. Can I play with one of them?”

Peter handed him a black one with a red hour class shape on the back. “That one’s a black widow,” he said. “They’re very dangerous.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t I know it.”

“Do you like spiders?” Peter asked.

“I don’t dislike them.”

“Tony doesn’t like them either, but he still plays with my spiders when he comes to visit.”

So the two had multiple interactions before. Tony hadn’t been talking shit. “Did you see Tony a lot?” Steve asked.

“He came by twice a week for awhile. He’d sit and we’d talk. He’s real smart.”

“I know he is.”

“Are you Steve his husband?”

“Tony told you about me?”

“Yeah. He loves you a lot. Talks about you all the time. Last time he was here, he said he was gonna bring you here to meet me. But it’s been more than a week so I figured he forgot.”

“Don’t say that. Tony would never forget about you.”

—

**Day Eight/One**

_I have just been informed that I have to re-start the program because of the sedation. I was right. This time I’m going to do it though. I’m just gonna stick it out. I have to. I have to get home to Steve._

—

**Day Nine/Two**

_I have come to the realization that I could, in fact, get up and leave. So why do I stay? Am I that whipped?_

—

**Day Ten/Three**

_I have thought about it and I am_ not _whipped. I deeply in love with my husband who wants this for me. I think I want this for me too. And I want this for Peter. Oh God, I hope he hasn’t been adopted yet._

—

**Day Eleven/Four**

_The last thing I said to him was that I was going to bring Steve with me the next time I saw him. But... oh God. That was almost three weeks ago! He’ll think I forgot about him. Jesus, I have to get through this program and be done with it. No more fucking around. I want that kid, goddamn it!_

—

Steve visited Peter every day. Peter always asked about Tony, but Steve wasn’t allowed to tell him anything more than ‘he’ll be back soon’. Steve had talked seriously with the workers and talked through the legality of the situation. Tony’s being in rehab wasn’t a great start, but after very close evaluation of Steve, they figured that if Tony proved stable after a few weeks, they would be able to adopt Peter. He wasn’t allowed to tell Peter, of course, but he was so over the moon excited he could barely keep it in.

Of course what he wanted most was to share the news with Tony, but he couldn’t. He told the rest of the team, too. They were all very excited for them. Clint made it very clear that he was not changing any diapers, but when Steve explained that Peter was almost five years old, Clint had to work very hard to hide the smile that was bursting on his face.

Over the next few days, Steve brought the team to meet Peter one at a time. Peter hit it off with Bruce the best.

“Why are you always here?” Peter asked. They had been playing keep away with the black widow toy. Steve stopped trying to hide the spider at Peter’s question. “Are you gonna adopt me?”

Steve sighed. _I sure hope so_. He loved the kid so much. Tony was right, Peter was amazing. He understood why Tony would go to rehab if it meant that he could have him in his life always. “It’s complicated,” Steve said finally.

“So, no.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“When I lived with Uncle Ben and Aunt May and I asked them why I didn’t live with my mom and dad like the other kids, they said it was complicated. I never saw my mom and dad. And then when Uncle Ben and Aunt May brought me here and I asked why they were leaving me, they said it was complicated. I haven’t seen them since. I know what _it’s complicated_ means. I’m not stupid.”

Steve’s heart broke. Peter was five years old and he already knew better than anyone what loss meant. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” He sounded so hopeful.

“Yes, we’re going to adopt you. Tony and I. We’re trying to at least. It’s...”

“Complicated?” Peter asked, the disappointment evident on his face.

“Yes, but not like that. We want you. We _really_ want you. But we need a few more weeks. The people I’ve brought here for you to meet? They live with Tony and I. They’re our friends.”

“I liked them. Clint’s weird.”

Steve grinned from ear to ear. “Yeah, Clint’s weird.” He realized he was probably breaking the law by telling Peter that they were going to adopt him. What if the deal fell through? What if Tony couldn’t stay sober and they couldn’t keep Peter? What if he got the kid’s hopes up for nothing? No, he couldn’t think like that. Of course Tony was going to stay sober. He had to. “You have to promise me something though.”

“What?” Peter asked.

“It’s big.”

“Pinky promise big?”

“Bigger.”

“Bigger?” Peter seemed skeptical, but proceeded to ask what the promise was.

“You can’t tell anyone that I told you. You can’t tell any of your friends. You can’t tell any of the workers here. You can’t tell _anyone_. Okay? Because I wasn’t supposed to tell you. If you tell, we may not be able to take you home.”

Peter’s eyes grew huge and he wrapped his pinky around Steve’s and squeezed as hard as he could. “I pinky promise times infinity that I won’t tell.”

—

**Day Twenty/Thirteen**

_Today is the day I would have gotten out. I feel different, I guess. I don’t miss it like I thought I would. All I think about is Steve and Peter. It’s what keeps me going. The thought of going home and picking up Peter at the orphanage and bringing him home to the tower... it’s the best in the world. I hope he likes everyone. I think he’ll really like Bruce. I don’t know about Clint... he’s kind of weird. It’s kind of a pipe dream, because even though I’m here doesn’t mean Steve is going to want to adopt right away._

_I just can’t wait to see him. I miss him so much. I miss waking up to his kisses. I miss the way he sneaks up behind me and grabs my waist and kisses my neck. I can’t think about that any more. It’s too hard. Only seven days left._

—

**Day Twenty-Two/Fifteen**

_Five days. I’m practically hallucinating. I think the nurses will be glad to get rid of me. I do feel bad though. The second one I bit had to get stitches._

—

“How about I bring Tony down here to see you in a few days.”

Peter squinted his eyes skeptically at Steve. “Why?”

“Because he’s been away, but he’s gonna be back and I’m sure he misses you.”

“Have you talked to him? Why did he leave and say he was coming back with you, and then not show up?”

“Because he had to go away. It’s...”

“Complicated. I get it.”

“Don’t worry, Peter. We’re not going anywhere this time.”

“Pinky promise?” Peter’s eyes were wide with hope. Steve was 98% sure this was going to work out, and that was enough for him. He linked pinky’s with Peter.

“Pinky promise.”

—

**Day Twenty-Five/Eighteen**

_I can’t decide if I’m gonna kiss him or tell him I love him first. I’ll know when I see him. This was a really good idea. I have to let him know. But in a Tony way. I can’t just come out and say it, of course. I’m not a total sap. I sound like a love-sick eighteen year old. Except I’m married to mine. And I get to keep him. It physically hurts being away from him right now._

_And while we’re being honest here, the reunion sex is going to be pretty fucking awesome, too. Nope. Can’t think about that. I still have to make it two more days._

—

“I’m not gonna come see you tomorrow because I have to go pick Tony up. It may take a day or two for us to get settled again, but as soon as we do, we’re gonna come down and see you. Together.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you give him this as a welcome home present from me?” Peter asked. He handed Steve the black widow. “It’s my favorite. I love it a lot. And if what you tell me is true, I’ll get to play with it soon enough, right?”

Steve looked at the ceiling and blinked, trying not to let the tears run down his cheek. He couldn’t look at Peter’s hopeful face, but he closed his hand around the toy. “Of course, Peter. I know it will mean a lot to him.”

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_It’s four in the fucking morning. I couldn’t stay asleep. I get to see him today. God help me, he better come in the limo so we can close the fucking divider and fuck each other senseless in the back seat. Good God. If I just sleep it’ll go faster, but I can’t._

—

Steve couldn’t sleep. All he could think of was Tony. He had been away from him for almost a month. That was _way_ too long. He was determined to never have to be away from Tony that long again. He rolled over. 5:00 am. He buried his face in a pillow.

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_Okay, so this isn’t working. It’s six in the morning. The nurses just made their first round. She said that she had spoken to Steve and that is going to be here at noon. I asked if she could call Steve and tell him to be there earlier, because I knew Steve would be up. He’s probably up right now. But she said no because they didn’t discharge before noon. Mother fucker._

—

Steve called the rehab center to ask if he could pick Tony up earlier than noon, but they said that they didn’t discharge before then, so he just had to wait it out. It was 6:30 and he was already showered and dressed. Five and a half hours. Might as well have been five years.

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_It is now 7:30. I have had four cups of coffee. I’m going to take a walk around the building._

—

The facility was about an hour away from Stark Tower, but Steve burst out the door at 8 with the flimsy excuse of possible traffic. He had called Happy the night before to ask if he could drive the limo so that he and Tony could “talk seriously” without having to worry about driving. Well... that’s what he told Happy. Neither of them believed it.

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_9:30_

—

Steve protested the stop at the diner on the way out of the city, but Happy snapped that he was woken up at the ass crack of dawn to go somewhere and accomplish a task that couldn’t be accomplished until noon. Steve ordered a side of bacon. He was too excited to eat. He looked at his watch every thirty seconds.

10:45.

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_11:15. Are those balloons?_

—

11:30. “Can you drive faster?” Steve asked. All the dawdling had cost them precious time. They had stayed at the diner too long. They were going to be late to pick up Tony. Tony was going to think Steve didn’t care. _No_. He thought. _He knows I care._

—

**Day Twenty-Seven/Twenty**

_It is now 11:50. They were balloons. Since I spent most of the time here in my room, I was unaware that they throw everyone a little going away party. I think the cake was decent, but I can’t tell because all I can taste is coffee. I’ve consumed another five cups since the first four. That’s nine. Only nine?_

_Okay, now it’s 11:55 and holy sh_

—

Steve saw Tony and had to resist the urge to run toward him and give him the most bone crushing hug ever. Tony, however, seemed unable to resist that urge. He ran and jumped into Steve’s arms, wrapping his legs around the taller man’s waist. Tony knew from years of experience that he was feather light to the super soldier.

“I love you,” Tony said, kissing Steve. “I love you. Love you. Love you.” Each love was accompanied with a kiss.

“I love you, too.” Steve smiled against Tony’s lips.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. Don’t leave me again.”

“You’re the one who put me here. I tried leaving.”

“We both know that if you didn’t want to come here, you wouldn’t have.”

“Fuck it. I hate it when you’re right.” Tony kissed Steve with such a passion Steve’s had to lean against the table to balance himself. He didn’t know how he had gone so long without this.

“Okay, break it up. Let’s get you out of here and home.”

Tony lurched away from Steve. “Happy?” He turned back to Steve. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

“Yeah, we all love each other. Now, I know why he brought me here and I’m not 100% okay with it, but you’re my friend so whatever. I’d really love it if we could get it over with.”

“Fine. All the better. The quicker we get out of here, the quicker we get to the limo.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at Steve.

“On second thought, why don’t we stay here for a bit. It’s quite nice.”

“Not a chance.”

—

The sex was better than Tony could have imagined. Towards the end of his stay, he thought that maybe he was building it up in his mind and that it wasn’t going to be as good as he thought it was. He was wrong. So, so wrong.

“Mother fucker. I missed you.” Tony said when it was over. “Let’s do it again.”

“I’d love to, _but_ there’s something we need to talk about.”

“Can we talk about it after?” Tony whined.

“If we do you’re going to regret that we put it off that long.”

“Oh, I doubt it.”

“I met Peter.”

“Really?” Tony asked, overjoyed. “Isn’t he the best? He’s the best, right? I love that kid so much. Do you like him?”

“I love him. And so does the rest of the team.”

“The rest of the team?”

“Well, I figured he should get to know the people he’s going to have in his life. After all, they _live_ with us.”

“ _No._ ” Tony gasped.

“Yes. You’ve got to stay sober for two weeks. It’s worked out with the courts. After that, he’s ours.”

“He’s ours?” It was the closest thing Tony Stark would ever come to squeaking.

“He’s ours.”

Tony kissed Steve. “I’ll fuck to that.”

“Somehow, I knew you would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm well aware that no rehab facility would handle a patient biting someone by sedating him/her. However, it's funny and it's fiction.


	3. After

 “And this is your room,” Tony explained as he opened the door. The inside was entirely too plain for a five year old’s taste, but Peter tried to hide the disappointment on his face.

“We know, boring isn’t it?” Steve said, trying to hide his smile. And failing.

“I’m just glad that I get to have a room of my own.” Peter shrugged. “I do get it to myself, right?!”

“Yes, of course. And tomorrow morning, first thing, we are going to go to every toy store in New York City. We are going to buy you whatever you want. Steve over here is going to paint you a mural on every wall. He’s an artist, Steve is. Every kid in the entire state of New York is going to be jealous of this room.”

Peter’s eyes went wide. “But that’s gonna cost, like, a hundred dollars.”

“I think I can afford it, little man,” Tony explained. He and Steve had picked Peter up at the orphanage that morning. Coincidentally, it was Peter’s fifth birthday. They had just finished giving him the tour of the tower. Tony would never admit it to Steve, especially since this whole thing had been _his_ idea, but he was scared shitless. What if he was just like his father? What if he fucked this kid up and he grew up to be bitter like him? Tony pushed the thought from his head. He wasn’t bitter any more. He had an amazing life with amazing friends and an amazing husband. And now he had an amazing son. Tony smirked. Three years ago he would have called himself a pussy. Now it just felt right.

“I love you,” Peter exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Tony’s legs. “And you, too!” Petter tried to fit all four legs into his grasp, but his arms weren’t wide enough. Steve just picked Peter up and help him between Tony and himself.

—

Tony hadn’t been kidding when he said he was going to buy everything Peter wanted. Steve was worried about spoiling him, but Tony either didn’t hear him, or elected to ignore him. Steve was positive that it was the latter. Eventually Tony saw Steve’s hesitation, and Tony just explained that Peter had never had anything all for his own. He also said that this was the last time they were going to be doing this, and after that Peter would have to wait for the good things.  Steve wasn’t sure he believed Tony or not but he had learned to roll with the punches when it came to his husband.

It had never come up in conversation at the orphanage that Peter was a _huge_ Avengers fan. He hadn’t deduced that Tony was Iron Man, even though it was a widely known, public fact. No one knew Steve’s identity, so it wasn’t surprising that he hadn’t figured that out either. Naturally, he had to have _everything_ Avengers. And what the store didn’t have with the Avengers, it had to have spiders on it. Every single thing.

In the beginning of the shopping spree, Peter had been hesitant, afraid that he was asking for too much. As if he didn’t have any right to niceness. But eventually he figured out that Tony was 100% serious about his promise of everything, and at each store he asked for more and more. 

He said he didn’t want a mural. Steve asked why. Peter said he didn’t want to inconvenience Steve. Steve explained that he _loved_ to paint, that he had even gone to college to be an artist, and that he would be more than happy to do it. In fact, he said that it was something he wanted to do, not just for Peter. Peter said he wanted one wall like the beach, another like New York, another like a farm, and the last one blank to hang up posters. He wanted the ceiling to be painted like a sky, with clouds and everything. Steve said that was doable and he looked forward to it. Peter beamed up at him.

—

“Tony?” Peter asked. Tony, Steve, and Peter were in Peter’s room. Steve was painting, Tony was working on the calculations for a new suit, and Peter was playing with his toys on the floor.

“Yeah kiddo?” Tony asked, pushing away the holograph he had been working with.

“How come I call you, Tony and Steve, Steve?” Steve put down the paintbrush and joined them on the floor.

“We didn’t want to push anything on you too quickly. Legally... do you know what that means?” Tony asked.

“Yup. It means it’s a law. Are we in trouble?” Peter asked, worried.

“No, no. We’re not in trouble. What I was going to say is that _legally_ Steve and I are your parents. We are both your dads. But we weren’t sure if you would want to call us that yet, or at all.”

“But you _are_ my parents,” Peter said, matter-of-factly. “I’ve known that since Steve said you were going to adopt me. So... is it all right if I call you guys dad?”

“Of course,” Steve said. Peter jumped into Steve’s arms, then pulled Tony by the shirt to join the group hug.

“I love my dads. They’re the best dads ever.”

“We love you, too, Peter.” Tony spoke for both of them.

—

“Pop?” Peter asked. It had gotten confusing calling both Steve and Tony dad, so Steve had taken the name Pop to ease the confusion.

“Yeah,” Steve answered. It was his day to pick Peter up from school. Peter had started kindergarten a few weeks before. Steve and Tony were glad to have time along again, but they missed Peter awfully when he was at school.

“A kid said something to me at school today.”

“And what was that?”

“He said that it wasn’t natural that I had two dads.”

Steve was silent. He and Tony had prepared for this question, but no amount of preparation could account for the look Peter was giving him. “Why don’t we wait to get home and talk this out with Dad.”

“Okay.”

When they got home, Steve left Peter with Clint. He said he’d be right back, he just needed to talk to Tony alone for a few minutes. Clint had quickly become Peter’s favorite. It was nothing against Bruce, but he was very hesitant around Peter, always afraid that he was going to hurt him, and therefore spent very little time with Peter. They had explained the situation to Peter and he understood in his own five year old way. Besides, Clint was the one who let him get away with stupid stuff like jumping from one couch to the other over impossibly long distances. Steve and Tony were nervous, but they trusted Clint had the reflexes to catch Peter if he started to fall.

“It’s time,” Steve said. Tony was brushing his teeth. “Wait... did you just wake up?”

“Mmm,” Tony said around the toothbrush. “It’s only noon. Couldn’t sleep last night. It’s all good.”

“Okay, anyway. Some kid at school just told Peter it wasn’t right that he had two dads.”

“Fuck,” Tony said, spitting into the sink. “I didn’t think it would happen this quick.”

“Neither did I, but it has and it’s time. We prepared for this.”

“I know,” Tony said, rinsing his mouth out and wiping a stray bit of toothpaste foam from the corner of his mouth. “But just because we’re prepared doesn’t mean we’re ready.”

Even though it sounded strange, Steve knew exactly what Tony was saying, and feeling exactly what Tony was feeling.

They rejoined Peter and Clint in the media room. Peter didn’t like watching TV all that much, but he loved the bean bag chairs and the shag carpet and wrestling with Clint on both. “Okay birdbrain. Time for you to leave,” Tony said, gesturing for Clint to leave. “We need to talk to Peter.”

“Bye birdbrain!” Peter shouted.

“Don’t call him that,” Steve reprimanded.

“Dad just did!”

“Your dad needs to learn to watch his mouth.”

“It’s fine, really,” Clint said. “Besides, we all know Tony isn’t going to learn to watch his mouth anytime soon.”

Both Tony and Steve glared at Clint, a clear message in their eyes: _Get Out._ Clint may be a goofball, but he wasn’t an idiot. He understood that there was serious family business going down.

“So, Pete, you asked pop why you have two dads?”

“Some kid said it wasn’t natural.”

“What mother fu—”

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve hissed.

“Sorry,” Tony apologized. “Here’s the deal Peter. Our family isn’t normal. You have two dads, an Aunt Natasha, an Uncle Bruce, an Uncle Thor, an Uncle Clint, and an Uncle Coulson who all live with you. You live with six superheroes and a spy. _Which you can’t tell anyone_.”

“I know, I know. You told me that a million years ago. I get it.”

“You also know that we are not your natural parents.”

“Well duh, they’re dead.” It broke Tony’s heart that he had just accepted it. Their son was one tough kid.

“Yes, they are. And we adopted you because Steve and I can’t have kids on their own. We picked you because you are the greatest kid in the world and we love you unconditionally.”

“You are going to get comments like this all of your life, Peter. We’re very sorry for that, but it’s the way things are. Especially at this age. Even if you were adopted by a mom and a dad they would probably say things as well. We’re very sorry about that Peter but you have to understand one thing. This is the most important thing that we will ever tell you.”

“What?” Peter asked.

“No matter what anyone says, ever, we will always love you. All of us. Aunt Natasha and all of your Uncles, but mostly Pop and me. We love you more than anything in the world. I knew it from the minute I met you.”

“Same here,” Steve agreed. “It’s not conventional. We understand that. But we wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“I wouldn’t trade you guys for the world, either,” Peter said meekly. He was looking at his hands and crying. “I love you.”

“C’mere,” Tony said. He couldn’t hold himself back. He leaned forward and pulled Peter into his chest. Tony was crying now. The rocked back and forth, and soon Steve wrapped his arms around them both. “We love you so much Peter.”

Eventually they had to let go, but there was no knowing how long they had sat on the floor like that. “I feel bad for the other kids. They don’t have an Uncle Clint or an Aunt Natasha, and they definitely don’t have an Uncle Thor.”

Tony threw his head back in howling laughter. “That’s for darn sure!” Peter was the strongest kid he had ever met. While his dads were crying, he put his head up and saw the light in his life. “You gonna be okay kid?”

“Yeah. After all, you picked me. His parents got stuck with him.”

“That’s the attitude.” Steve clamped a hand on his son’s back. “Just don’t go around saying that, okay?”

“Okay.”

—

Peter’s tenth birthday was nothing short of a carnival. Literally, it was a carnival. Tony and Steve had worked to organize it for over sixth months. Peter’s entire school, along with his Little League Team, and kids from the surrounding schools he’d befriended were invited. Everything was free, there were prizes to be won and shows to be had. The Avengers even made a special appearance that the other kids gawked at, but Peter just smiled knowingly. Over all, it was a huge success.

Every kid’s parents stayed for the carnival, as well. There was carnival rides. Bumper cars, a tilt-a-while, a carousal, those spinny rides that make you stick to the wall. Everything. There was something for every age group.

The kid who told Peter that his family wasn’t natural was invited to the party. He had continued to bully Peter for the five years that followed. Tony and Steve told Peter that he didn’t have to invite him, but Peter insisted. “I know he’s a good kid. He just doesn’t understand.”

Sometime in the middle, the bully, Flash, came up to Peter. He was standing with Tony and Steve and the three were sharing a cotton candy. “I still think it’s weird, but your dad’s are pretty awesome. And you’re not so bad yourself.”

“Are you saying that because you won a lot of prizes?” Peter asked skeptically.

“No. I’m saying it because your dads really love you, and there’s nothing weird about that. I’ll see you at school.”

Peter beamed from ear to ear for the rest of the day and into the night. As expected, more people showed up to the carnival than those that were invited. They had planned for this. Every kid who got the advantages of free things got a bracelet, while everyone else had to pay for their snacks and rides and games.

“Do you think we spoil him too much?” Tony asked Steve. They were off to the side. Peter had gone into the bouncy castle a few minutes before, and from the looks of it, he wasn’t coming out any time soon.

“Of course. But he’s the farthest thing from a selfish brat, so I think we’re good.”

“I think we’re more than good.” Tony kissed Steve then. It was passionate, but not in a gross PDA kind of way. It was just two men who loved each other more than they loved themselves.

—

The first time Peter brought Mary Jane home, he was sixteen. They were study buddies, but Tony and Steve were no idiots. Peter looked at her as if she was nothing less then a queen. She stayed for dinner. She fit in easily with the group. Steve and Tony kept glancing at each other, smiles on their faces, as Peter gushed about the things Mary Jane did. She kept saying things like “it wasn’t that big of a deal” and “I was just doing what a good person would do.” Peter was having none of that. 

She stayed much into the night, talking with the Avengers. Their identities had been revealed a few months earlier. She wasn’t interested in the usual gossip. She wanted to know what it was like to fight monsters and robots and aliens. Thor, as always, got overexcited talking about battle. Mary Jane just smiled and asked questions. It was obvious that she was going to be around the tower a lot more in the future.

Eventually she had to leave. As soon as the door shut, Tony opened his mouth. “Look at that, our little boy is in love.”

“Shut up.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Peter sighed a wistful, love struck sign. “She _is_ great, isn’t she?” 

—

Peter’s eighteenth birthday was not as joyous as his tenth. Or any of the ones in between. Peter had disappeared immediately after school against Steve and Tony’s direct instructions. He didn’t come home until after four in the morning. What’s worse, he was drunk off his ass.

Tony and Steve were awake, worried sick about their son. When Tony saw what happened, he was furious. He left the room without saying a word. Steve managed to get Peter to bed, carrying him as used to carry Tony all those years ago. He left him a bucket, a cold cloth, six bottles of water, and Advil. Once Peter was asleep, Tony went in and took it all away. Steve didn’t approve, but he knew where Tony was coming.

_Livin' easy/_ _Lovin' free/Season ticket on a one way ride/Askin' nothin'/Leave me be/Takin' everythin' in my stride/Don't need reason/Don't need rhyme/Ain't nothin' that I'd rather do/Goin' down/Party time_

Peter sat up bold straight in bed, covering his ears. He screamed bloody murder, but that just made his head hurt worse. He stumbled out of his room, but apparently JARVIS was instructed to have the music follow him.

_My friends are gonna be there too/I'm on the highway to hell/On the highway to hell/Highway to hell/I'm on the highway to hell_.

Peter was stumbling around in circles. He eventually found Tony leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed his chest. “Good morning.” Tony greeted, almost cheerfully. “Rough night?” There was such sarcasm and disdain in his voice Peter felt like an ant under the boot that was his father.

“Please dad, just turn it off. Please,” Peter begged.

“Okay JARVIS. That’s enough.”

“Yes, sir.”

When the music stopped, Peter sank to his knees. “For the love of God, dad. Why?”

Steve came around the corner. He had obviously been listening in, but he had given Tony the satisfaction of confronting Peter. Of course, reprimanding their son was never _satisfactory_ , but this was on a whole different level from the other kinds of problems they had dealt with as a family. If you didn’t know Tony, you would think his face was made of cold and made of stone, but no one knew him better than Steve, and he could see the immense sadness on his husbands face.

“You don’t know much about me, do you?”

“I know a fair amount. The internet’s a big place, and we have nearly unlimited access to it. So yeah, I’ve read up on you. And pop. Which is why I don’t know why you’re giving me such shit. It’s not like you never drank before.”

Tony picked Peter up by the shirt. “I drank. I partied. I fucked around. It was all very _glamorous_. I met your dad. We got married. And you wanna know the last time I had a drink? About thirteen years ago. You’re a smart kid. Do the math.” Tony dropped Peter and his son sank to his knees. He had said his part, so he left the room. He didn’t stomp. If anything, he was eery calm.

Steve went up to Peter and helped him stand, leading him to the couch. “What’s his problem?” Peter asked, rubbing his throat.

“There are some things the internet can’t tell you, because there are things we never told the press. Do you remember when I used to come visit you in the orphanage? You already knew Tony and he had visited a lot, but he stopped coming and you thought it was because he stopped caring?”

“Sorta, I guess. Vaguely.”

“He wanted you so badly, Peter. He fought for weeks to get me to agree to adopting. _You_. He already had you picked out and everything. Eventually I broke down and told him that I wouldn’t adopt a child with him unless he stopped drinking. For a man that spent three decades at the bottom of a bottle, that was a huge request. But do you know what he did? He went to rehab. Because he wanted you in his life. He was an alcoholic, like his father before him. And even though you’re not blood related to him, he’s always been worried about that for you. He loves you, Peter. He’s being hard on you because he doesn’t want you to suffer the way he did.”

“He hasn’t had a drink in thirteen years because of me?”

“Because he loves you, Peter. You are the most important person in his life.”

“I think you take that spot.”

Steve smiled. “He has two most important people in this world.”

Peter smiled back at him. “We are pretty great.” Steve wrapped his arms around Peter. One thing he was thankful for was that Peter never went through that phase where he didn’t want to be seen in public with his parents and he was always down for physical contact. “Should I go apologize?” Peter asked.

“At some point, yes. But right now it won’t do anything. He is disappointed and hurt. Even though you couldn’t have known, it still feels like a personal hit. I don’t blame you. It’s what kids do. But right now your father's anger blinds him from seeing that. He’ll get over it soon enough. Like he’s said about a million times before, he loves you.”

“I couldn’t ask for a better family. I don’t know if I’ve ever really told you how much I love you and dad and everyone else. You gave me the best life any kid could ask for. Adopted or not.”

Neither of them could know that Tony was standing just around the corner, a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

—

Peter Parker Stark married Mary Jane Watson on a June afternoon. They were twenty five years old. When Tony complained they were too young, Steve reminded him that Peter was the same age Steve had been when he married Tony. Tony grumbled something about being frozen for seventy years, but they both knew Steve had won.

The reception lasted for two days, and half of New York showed up, invitations be damned.

Peter lived in the tower until that day. He didn’t want to move in with Mary Jane, because he read something about couples who moved in together before they got married were statistically more likely to end with divorce. It was clear to everyone that Mary Jane was beyond in love with Peter, and everyone knew that wouldn’t happen, but he insisted. The plan was that Mary Jane was going to move in with them after the honeymoon. Steve and Tony had other plans.

When it was time for the speeches, the proud fathers took the microphone.

“Well, I haven’t been in front of a mic in awhile,” Tony said. “But please, no pictures.”

“He’s been rehearsing that line for a while, so please laugh.” That got everyone to crack up. “But we can make fools of ourselves any time we want. Today is about Pete and MJ.”

“Peter brought MJ home for the first time when he was sixteen years old. They were friends and study buddies. Being a perceptive father, I knew from the moment I saw the way he looked at her he would do whatever it took to be hers.”

“They were high school sweethearts. MJ is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to Peter-”

“Besides us.” There was another laugh. “But in all seriousness, Steve’s right. Every day that I see them together, I am so proud of my son. Love is rare, and he’s found it. He takes after his dads in that way.”

“It took us over a year to decide what we are going to get you two. We know that no material object can top what you are feeling right now. And it’s for damn sure that we couldn’t figure out a gift that could even begin to express our love for you Peter. For both of you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to us, and we thank our lucky stars every day that we are fortunate enough to have you in our lives.”

“So please, Peter, Mary Jane, can you join us up here?” Tony asked, then made room for them as they took to the stage. He grabbed Steve’s hand and squeezed tight. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry. Steve squeezed back.

“Here,” Steve said, handing Peter the envelope.

“It’s... the deed you a house?” Peter gasped. When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes. He couldn’t help himself. He jumped into his fathers’ arms and hugged them tight. “I love you guys so much. Thank you.”

“We love you, too. Thank you for being our son.” Tony didn’t even try to hold back the crack in his voice or the tears in his eyes.

 


End file.
